keep the spark

 

In a new relationship, you’re driven to be attentive toward your partner and to nurture the relationship. In a long-term relationship it takes intention, energy, and work to keep the love alive. Nothing kills the romance faster than falling into a boring routine. That’s true especially if that routine doesn’t include prioritizing each other. Making your partner’s happiness more important than your own results in great satisfaction for both of you.

 

Here are some things a couple can do to keep the spark alive and the fires burning.

 

1- Check In With Each Other Every Day

 

Even if you spend hours together, you still may not be connecting. Sit down together for just 10 minutes a day to see how the other person is doing.

 

 

Speak to one of our therapists today.

 

 

 

2- Schedule a Weekly Date

 

Kids, work and other obligations may seem more important at times. It doesn’t have to be big or expensive. It just needs to be time away from your responsibilities.

 

3- Plan Surprises

 

Planning a surprise is a great way to break out of your rut. Spend quality time doing something you both enjoy. Let your partner see you care enough to plan a surprise for them.

 

keep the spark

 

4- Identify Your Needs

 

Think about what makes you feel relaxed and sensual. Once you’ve pinpointed what makes you feel ready to be intimate, share that with your partner so you can work on making it happen.

 

5- Learn Something New About Your Partner

There are still mysteries about the way your partner thinks, feels and experiences life that you haven’t unraveled yet. Spend time with your partner and ask questions.

 

6- Try Something New Together

 

This won’t only feel fun and exciting, but seeing your partner in a totally new environment will teach you things you never knew about them and remind you why you fell in love.

 

7- Talk About Sex

 

The key to a long lasting and satisfactory sex life is to let your partner know what you like. What turns you on? What are your fantasies? What things would you like to try?

 

talk about sex

 

8- Think of Boredom as a Call to Action

 

It’s an early warning system that your relationship needs a recharge. When boredom strikes you should respond by planning more growth.

 

9- Keep Your Identity as an Individual

 

Getting close to someone should not mean fusing your identity or losing respect for your innate separateness. Appreciate your partner’s unique interests and enjoy them for the individual they are.

 

10- Focus on Quality, Not Quantity

 

Don’t put a lot of pressure on each other to do what you heard other people say is “normal”. Don’t compare yourself to other couples.

 

be generous

 

11- Remember to Be Generous

 

Be giving of yourself and be accepting of what is given to you. Show your appreciation even when things are difficult to receive. Being generous will make you feel warmly toward your partner.

 

 

 

 

 

12- Remember Love is a Verb

 

Love in action is going to look different to different people because we don’t all love in the same ways. The key to understanding how to “do” love is learning how you love and want to be loved.

 

Don’t think keeping the spark is mostly about romantic gestures. Research shows it’s about week-in-week-out maintenance. Follow these tips and commit to taking action to keep the spark. The rewards will help give you the lasting satisfaction and sustained passion.

Need couples therapy? Call (510) 497-4174 to schedule your free consultation today.
If you have any questions or require more information, please contact Lani here: lani@bridgecentertherapy.com